Ultimate Sexy

If you are female and planning on buying a costume for halloween, your options are basically limited to the “sexy” version of whatever profession/character you choose to masquerade as. Last year I attended a party where I encountered the following:

sexy witch
sexy flight attendant
sexy girl scout (x2, one was a dude)
sexy snow white
sexy nurse
sexy cop

There was also a girl dressed as Lara Croft, which is sexy – but that is really just the character, so it doesn’t count.

Nothing really wrong with this I guess. I, as a woman, do feel the need to dress like I’m in a porno, and it’s important to have a day to celebrate this. If you are planning on going this route though – please, please pick something that actually makes sense to sexualize. Do not, for instance choose this:



I understand fantasizing about a little inappropriate use of force from a tarty officer or rendering Snow White less than pristine. But in whose shattered psyche is this desirable fantasy fodder?

I’m not a judgemental person, but if you buy this costume, then you’re pretty fucked up and probably strangled a whole bunch of cats when you were a kid.

We have specific reform programs for deviants like you.

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2 Responses to Ultimate Sexy

  1. PluralofJedi says:

    That particular model’s level of attractiveness completely overrides the type of costume. Honestly, “look I’m wearing a costume” is all the farther I go when looking at that picture. It could be anything…. Oh, let me translate into nerd:

    Halloween Costume + Hotness = Hotness

    Feel free to derive the value of the costume.

  2. Profile photo of JessicaJessica says:

    Well, yeah, I get that the costume a girl is wearing needn’t matter if she’s attractive enough. A hot girl could just glue lumpy brown masses all over her body and say “Hey guys, check it out – I’m melanoma!” Dudes are still gonna focus on a hot, half naked girl. The point is, who thinks to make up a costume like that in the first place?

    Hmmm . . . well – who other than me, I guess.

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