This is about more than just mating strategy.

Psychology Today – Love’s Loopy Logic

The nugget of wisdom from this article (emphasis mine):

Seeing the world through our own warped force field is standard operating procedure. “Biased mechanisms are not design defects of the human mind, but rather design features,” says Haselton. We don’t commit them just in mating mode. They’re present in our everyday perceptions, protecting our egos and all types of relationships. We imbue the powerful and beautiful with personal and intellectual qualities that they likely don’t possess, overestimate our own abilities, and downgrade the importance of skills that elude us. We’re also paranoiacally primed to detect threats to our status, to our children—any domain in which the stakes are high. This is why women are fiercely protective of their newborns, why we agonize if the boss idly snaps at us.

All the stuff about how this applies to gaining sexual advantage is certainly interesting, but it is just an example of the overarching mechanism at work.

People are classy.

So, yeah – someone left a condom on my front lawn.

I went out to check the mail a bit ago and noticed something laying in the grass – something which looked sort of like a small wad of plastic wrap. I approach it to pick it up and toss it in the trash and as I lean down, I see what it actually is.

To the people that were apparently having sex on my lawn:

1.) If you’re looking for your misplaced semen, you can check the large green garbage cans in my driveway. That might be a distasteful suggestion, but I’m working on the assumption that your standards have some wiggle room.
2.) Please stop having sex on my lawn.

So now I need to look around for some rubber gloves to hazmat up and remove some dude’s genetic material from my property.